


A hero's lost story

by DasIchigo



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Hurt/Comfort, Uchiha Sasuke (mentioned) - Freeform, Uchiha Shisui (mentioned) - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-14 05:27:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17502461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DasIchigo/pseuds/DasIchigo
Summary: It was one of those days, one just wants to stop time, even if it was just for a single, short moment, to take a deep breath and wishing to never have to let it go again, forgetting all the pain and sorrow in ones heart for this one fleeting moment and making it last for all eternity.If he was honest, he looked forward to the day his time would come to an end and he would be freed from all the pain he so desperately tried to hide deep within him.The man was strong and a great shinobi, if a traitor and comrade killer, but that didn't matter anymore because it was what the two of them had in common.---A story about the relationship between between Itachi and Kisame, mainly focusing on Itachi and his thoughts and inner struggle. Writing this took me nearly an entire year of thinking, because I wanted it to be really good. It's not perfect, but worth a read.





	A hero's lost story

**Author's Note:**

> -I don't own anything except the things I wrote here and myself-

Colourful leafs were softly rustling in the warm autumn wind, slowly tumbling through the air until they silently hit the ground, piling up on each other and enveloping the road in front of two dark figures into a beautiful, bright path. Warm sunlight shone through the over time more and more empty growing trees, heating up the air around the two characters, who with their dark black coats with crimson clouds embellishing them broke the miscellaneously coloured scheme the scene was.  
It was one of those beautiful days that were supposed to make one enjoy the good things life had to offer, that made this life one, that was worth dwelling in.  
It was one of those days, one just wants to stop time, even if it was just for a single, short moment, to take a deep breath and wishing to never have to let it go again, forgetting all the pain and sorrow in ones heart for this one fleeting moment and making it last for all eternity.  
It was a wish, a dream, something impossible for even the strongest to accomplish. Time could never stop, it would always keep moving, and, if one wouldn't hurry, leaving them behind, frozen in the past forever until there was someone to pull them back into reality.  
But some people would never be able to be pulled back. They would be stuck in the horrors of the things long gone. Unable to forget what they had done, what they had seen and witnessed. And even if they were physically present, their hearts and souls would be frozen in time, consumed by a place full of darkness, hate and regret.  
One of those two, dark figures was once nearly swallowed by this terrible place. His heart was filled with darkness from the things he had done to the ones that trusted him most, his body paying the price with the deadly disease that was eating him up from within.  
For the one person he cared for most, he stopped time. In order to protect this person he did such terrible things that made their heart freeze in place, filling itself with hatred, getting caught in darkness as well. He had hurt himself by hurting this someone so they could grow from their pain and suffering, but he nearly forgot himself in the process, barely kept moving as time went on and on.  
Instead of getting stuck in the darkness, he embraced it. He sealed it away in his heart so he could keep moving, merely dragging his feet behind him for what the future would hold in store.  
Together with his heart, he sealed away all his emotions so he wouldn't have to feel the pain and regret, so he wouldn't go back, so all the pain he not only sealed away in his, but also in his little, beloved brothers heart would always protect him, scarring them both for eternity.  
Oh, how he wished it wouldn't have had to turn out like this, how much he wished they could've always stayed together, but whatever would happen, he would never be the one to neglect him, he would always protect his younger brother, even if he would be hated because of it, because he loved him. He loved him more than anyone else, than his clan or his village, he valued his brothers life far over his own and would do anything for him, he would always be there for him, even it was just as an obstacle to overcome.  
Itachis heart ached over the thought of his little brother. The pain he felt was unbearable, leaving him as a mere shell of his former being, trapped in this world until his time too, would be stopped by the person whose he froze all those years ago. If he was honest, he looked forward to the day his time would come to an end and he would be freed from all the pain he so desperately tried to hide deep within him. His death shall release not only himself but also his brother and everyone else who had ever to fear him, and oh how much he hoped it would let his brother live again.

The days that passed would turn into weeks, into months and years, Itachi didn't know anymore. It has been too long. Season after season would pass, the soft autumn breeze was to turn into a cold wind, snow would fall and cover the now brown decaying leafs until the warmth of the sun would again melt it away for the flowers to bloom in all their colourful glory. The cold would slowly make way for summer, daring the two dark figures to open up their black coats and put their hats down to show it their faces, but they never did. Occasionally crimson droplets of blood would stain the ground and hands that would never be wiped away, it was the same, every time, every year, remembering him of what he had done all those years ago, making him feel older that the 20 years he brought behind him so far.  
During some days it was worse than others. There were days he could carry on normally, as if nothing had ever happened, playing his part perfectly as the cold hearted mass murderer he was, but other times, Itachi felt like his entire being would shatter into tiny pieces that would then sprawl all over the floor, sharp and fragile like broken glass, only left there to hurt whoever might step on it. He sometimes wouldn't even care to get up in the morning, just leaving all those shattered, little pieces laying on the ground, but he still did. He had to, as hard as it was because no one should ever know the truth about him and all the sacrifices he made from that day on. No one must ever find out, it was as secret he shall take with into his grave so his brother who was supposed to kill him, was to be celebrated as a hero and so the mighty name of the Uchiha would stay high and pure as it was supposed to be.  
Itachis life for sure wasn't easy or much enjoyable. The short time he lived was not once his. He always had duties to fulfil, expectations he had to exceed and things he had to learn. From the day on he was proficient enough to enter the ninja academy he was trained to be a human weapon. He was called a prodigy and a genius so many times, he lost track. Some people even got so far as to say that he would become hokage one day. No, they wanted him to be hokage, he was supposed to be hokage.  
The Hyuuga would probably call it his destiny, silly he thought. But Itachi knew those people were right, yes, he had the skills to become hokage and rule the village, but he never believed in things as vague as destiny. Maybe this was because he was born and raised an Uchiha and not any other clan in the hidden leaf village, and Uchiha always believed in their physical and mental skills, quite different from the Hyuuga.  
If he was honest, Itachi did not like to remember all those things. He did not like to think about his crimes because after all, he still called himself a pacifist killing in order to insure peace, as paradox as it may seem. Enough things had happened, to make the raven think that way and not all of those experiences left memories he liked to remember. That was why he didn't like days like these. The nice weather, the comforting warm sun and calm atmosphere made him want to believe that there was no bad in this world and all those things never happened as if they were only a nightmare he just woke up from, that he would wake up in his bed any moment now and would get up to help his mother making breakfast, his father reading the newspaper and little Sasuke playing with practice unnail and shuriken. But this wasn't a dream, it was the harsh reality he got forced into by his own free will and he wasn't walking home from training with Shisui, but instead next to shark like man, as deadly as himself.  
Despite all that, Itachi had to admit, it wasn't too bad to be teamed up with Kisame though. The man was strong and a great shinobi, if a traitor and comrade killer, but that didn't matter anymore because it was what the two of them had in common. Kisame was a nice guy at times. On long walks like the one today he would often say “We should stop for a while and catch a breath.”, never mentioning that it was only Itachi who needed a break. Both of them knew the illness the raven tried to hide was catching up with him way too quickly; more and more often Itachi needed to take breaks and take his medication, the blindness that was getting worse and worse taking a toll on his mental state as well.  
When they were out on missions, the team rarely talked and Itachi was grateful for that. He didn't like talking about the crimes they committed and Kisame seemed to understand that. It was peaceful in a very grotesque way, but Itachi got used to it over the past three years he was now teamed up with the shark like man.

The steps Itachi took were small and slow compare to Kisames and so he was always a bit behind. It wasn't that Itachi was particularly small, he was of average size, to be exact but his stamina was low thanks to his unknown disease.

“We should be taking a break from walking soon. I think there should be a dango shop nearby.” Kisame said while turning around to take a glance at his partner. Itachi didn't answer, like always. S simple, small nod was all the approval needed.

The sun was already hanging low as the duo arrived at the dango shop. It was a tiny house on a far off travelling route and the old lady owning the shop probably has only rarely customers. With a warm smile she welcomed them and took their orders in, before disappearing again to prepare their sweet meals.  
Despite his cold and murderous demeanour, Kisame knew quiet well about Itachis secret love for sweet thing and liked to spoil the younger one from time to time. Of course he would never admit it, he cared about his parter and his well being and that is why Itachis lack of self awareness and capability to take care of himself bothered him. For months now, he tried to get him to visit a professional medical ninja, and not a simple village doctor who would give him a few pills in fear of getting killed by the famous criminal duo. But Itachi always refused.  
Kisame didn't quite know why Itachi cared that less about his own health and injuries. He secretly mused about it, wondering and watching the smaller ninjas every move. But he was never able to get him, as long as they were partners, not even friends, only partners in crime for many years on and on, but he could never understand him.  
Carefully, Kisame let his eyes wander over Itachis body. His small frame didn't seem as fragile as it was, covered up by the wide akatsuki cloak. But Kisame knew. He had seen and witnessed how Itachis ribs began to show. How his limbs grew thinner and his breath and stamina shortened more and more.

“Kisame”, Itachis voice sounded cold and tired. Kisame noted, how he always talked quietly. “You are doing it again, looking at me like that. That look of pity on your face. You know I am not a child, Kisame.”

Of course Itachi noticed. He wasn't stupid and he was far from being inattentive. Sometimes, Kisame liked to forget the cold blooded mass murder hiding behind those tired eyes, just seeing the child he had gotten teamed up with when he joined the organization a couple of years ago. And still, it felt like he had been with him forever.  
Despite everything now, it was unusual for Itachi to speak the things that bothered him out loud, but before he could give him an answer, the old lady came back out of the cabin, holding up a plate with five dangos on it, three of them were for Itachi, even if Kisame always was the one who ordered them.  
The duo kept eating their sweet treats in silence, it wasn't something special but it was still nice from time to time. It was a pleasantly peaceful atmosphere, nearly making them both forget about the murderous mission they were on and all the blood that would be spilled soon. But only Itachi knew the true and final ending of that story already, the end of his story and the keeping of his secret for all of eternity.  
“The sun is going to set soon, Itachi-san.” Kisame noted, his voice calm and eyes wavering on the orangish horizon visible at the end of the road. “We should find a place to stay for the night rather soon. You will need to safe your energy for the upcoming event.”  
Itachi simply nodded, looking at him. Kisame thought it was funny how these blind eyes, that lacked the deep black they once held but rarely showed, were now grey and unfocused but still seemed to see everything and were as intimidating as they were back then. Even if the dangerously glowing red was more present all these years ago then it was now.  
With a deep sigh the shark man stood up, pushing the memories away, fully aware of the fact that all these things would soon be really nothing more than that; memories of a man he spent years of his life with, while barely even knowing him and his secrets. He swung samehada over his shoulder, forcing a grin and showing his sharp teeth.

“Let's go then, Itachi-san.”

After paying the old woman and asking her for directions, Itachi stood up, gazing a single time at the horizon to then set off, heading further into the direction of their, no his, destination. The world blurry and grey before his once all-knowing eyes. His time would come soon.

\- - -

Sealing a tailed beast always took it's time. At the beginning it only took three days to extract the one tails from the kazekage, but with Sasori dying just shortly after and Hidan and Kakuzu as well losing a fight against some leaf ninja, the process of sealing one was extended. Adding to that, Deidara just died a short while ago to Itachis own brother. It was foolish of the blonde, he decided, even if the fight went rather close, Itachi knew his little brother wouldn't be beaten by his fellow akatsuki member. But his death was still rather unconventional. The sealing took now up to an entire week, which was really exhausting and took another great toll on the ravens health.

With a deep yawn Kisame stood up and stretched his back thoroughly. His bones cracked loudly and his sore muscles ached. Quickly, he grabbed a bottle of water he placed next to him when the event began a few days ago. With just a few huge gulps, he chucked down half the bottle before he looked over at his partner “Take some, you probably need it.”

The shark man stared down at Itachi who was still sitting cross-legged on the ground. His eyes were closed and the bags underneath them even deeper and darker than usually. He wondered, if they could get worse, or if Itachi would simply pass out or even die from the stress and pressure his body took from the sealing process.  
The smaller man didn't respond. His breathing seemed out of place and Kisame noted the trembling that erupted through his fragile form like an earthquake. He decided that he didn't like this, not at all. Itachi never showed any kind of weakness and if, they wouldn't talk about it. Like how he never asked about the nightmares he must be suffering from, when he woke up by Itachis cries, pleads and screams at night. It was another one of their unspoken promises and agreements, but this was something Kisame couldn't look over and ignore.

Carefully, he kneeled down next to his still shaking partner “You need to drink something, Itachi-san. Are you alright?”  
There still was no answer coming from the younger male. Only a shaky exhale and a hand reluctantly reaching out and grabbing Kisames dark coat. Itachis body leaned forward until his forehead was pressed against the others chest.  
It was a strange and uncommon situation when the larger male awkwardly put and arm around his partner and moved his hand in calming motions over his back. Kisame didn't know what was wrong with Itachi and he especially didn't know how to deal with him in such a situation, but it was probably for the best to not question it much and just play along to get this over with as fast as possible and then never talk about it again.  
Itachis grip on his coat was weak, but desperate and Kisame thought of the situation as highly uncomfortable. He wasn't used to comforting people, he killed them, not rubbed their backs while the clung to him. But he could make an exception, just this one time.

“Itachi-san” he began, not really knowing where he was going with it “I know you're not feeling... well but you should drink some water, you are dehydrated and probably got a headache.” His arm reached out for the bottle again and Itachi actually seemed to listen to him. He lightened the grip on his coat and took the bottle with his other, shaking hand. The sips he took were small and slow, but eventually the bottle was empty and Itachi looked away, his hand dropping down.  
“I am sorry, Kisame. It won't happen again.”

Said one strictly ignored the raspy voice and dull, glassy eyes that clearly avoided his gaze.

\- - - 

More time went on and before anyone noticed it, fall an winter passed, making way for spring. The sun began to melt the snow on the travelling routes and he ground was wet and slippery from the molten and dirty snow remains still laying on the sides of the road. Birds came back from the south and chirped their happy songs more often. New leafs spruced from trees branches and lily's of the valley poked their heads out of the cold ground everywhere they could. The beauty of the combination of mud and flowers was questionable and most people didn't dwell on such things, rather looking forward to summer, but Itachi always liked spring more. To him, it was beautiful and he loved to watch the world getting reborn from the harsh conditions winter set the nature under year after year. After all, the cycle of life was something that would apply to everything, and everyone. Life is born and life dies, it's only natural and Itachi got reminded by that since he was born. That is why he knew that his small existence had no greater value or purpose than the ones he and the village had put upon him.  
His purpose in life. Itachi often thought about that. From the moment that he could walk his father trained him and showed him the horrors of war. He had only bean around three or four years old when he stood on the battlefield with his father. Facing death for the first time and making a decision after he killed his first man. It was his goal to ensure the peace in the world, to protect the innocent who could not protect themselves and make sure no lives were lost. From the beginning on, he hated to kill and called himself a pacifist. The only reason he took lives, was to save those of others but despite that, he still had to end too many innocent ones.  
That was probably the greatest difference between him and his partner. Kisame killed because he loved and enjoyed it. He killed, for that he lives, the ecstasy of taking a comrades life, it was what kept sane back in the days and Itachi though himself lucky that he wasn't one of his allies he considered his enemy, but seemed rather concerned about him and his well-being. 

“Are you alright, Itachi-san?” Kisames slightly worried voice had pulled him out off his daydreams. The other had stopped and looked at Itachi with concerned, dark eyes.

\- - -

The weather that day was dull and grey. The sun wasn't out and clouds hung low in the sky, but it wasn't raining, yet. The air was still humid and a cold wind blew his hair in his face. With a slow motion, Itachi brushed it behind his ear. He stood still and gazed up at the sky.

“The weather now is so different from back then.” Itachi began to speak. “The sky was nearly completely free from clouds. There was no wind, only a bright full moon lighting up the town. It's quite ironic, but also fitting, don't you think, Kisame?”  
A rare smile grazed the ravens features, as he looked over at his partner. The expression caught Kisame off guard. He wasn't even sure if he had ever seen Itachi smile like that but he decided that he quite liked the look on him. It was a uncommon sight, but it made Kisame wonder what Itachi was like when he was younger, or what he could have been if he wouldn't have been born in this god forsaken clan of his. It was Probably good that he murdered them all, even if it might have cost him the rest of his sanity. 

“Why are you smiling, Itachi-san?”, Kisame showed his sharp teeth saying these words. Immediately the others expression changed again. Eyes drifting off the smile got lost to a sad frown.  
“I don't know. Maybe because the day I have been waiting for for so long has finally come? It's my final challenge to fight Sasuke, to see if he is worthy and take his eyes.”  
“Do you still doubt his power, even after he beat Deidara who clearly was at an disadvantage?”  
“I already know how this battle will end, and I know you do too, Kisame.”  
“I see.”

The conversation was over again, and the duo continued their journey to the former Uchiha district of Konohagakure. Kisame has never been there and he wondered what it would look like. After all, it was the place where Itachi spend his early childhood at and he would lie if he said that didn't peak his interest even a little bit.  
Like that, their wordless walk continued for a few more hours. Despite the ravens silence, Kisame still noticed Itachis Chakra flow to speed up and how he seemed to slowly lose his usually totally calm demeanour to a slightly unsettling nervousness, and Kisame knew, something was clearly wrong with his parter now. Never has he ever noticed Itachi getting nervous or looking unsettled before a battle. He always kept calm and ended the fight before his low stamina could lead to his disadvantage. There were only few situations when this wasn't the case and Kisame had to carry Itachi back to one of akatsukis secret hideouts. But those were miscalculations of their strength and underestimating their opponents, but never have they stumbled upon someone they couldn't beat, an especially no one who made them unsure of their victory in any way.  
Itachi tried to hide it, and he did so nearly perfectly but after all the time they spent together, Kisame could see even the slightest hints of when Itachi didn't fell safe with a situation. Overlooking his lack of social skills here, at least.  
And for some reason all that made Kisame feel something he rarely felt, worry.

It is not that the shark man never worried about his partner before, especially early up in their teamwork,when Itachi was still around 15 years old and trying to hide that fact that even he couldn't escape puberty. But that didn't matter at all anymore, because it was a long time ago and Kisame didn't like to dwell on past events. He focused on the here and now and liked to indulge himself in the bloody heat of battle, to feel the chakra flowing out of his enemies as Samehada violently ripped their it out of their bodies, skin thorn apart and hot droplets of crimson blood hitting his skin. Shark teeth shown and wicked grin on his face, he loved that.

“What's wrong, Itachi-san?”  
A forbidden question hanging in the air between them, but this time, Itachi didn't mind it for once. A soft sound escaped his dry lips and he there was a soft look of sadness in his eyes that Kisame couldn't quite get right. The shark was good at ripping people apart, not building them up again when they were down, but the silence between them weighted heavily. The was only one thing that he could think of doing, to sooth Itachis racing chakra.

\- - -

The fight the two held was... awkward, but it worked. The battle was his way of helping Itachi and to show his respect for his opponent before the inevitable was coming, fast.  
It wasn't even for long, it was over fast, ending in a draw between two S-ranked criminal ninjas. Both out of breath, they stopped. Kisame took a few steps back and let himself fall against a tall tree. Eyes closed, he took a deep breath, still not knowing what to say, but he wouldn't even have to, because Itachi was faster, and his actions spoke better then what Kisame could have ever dreamed of to put into words.

Slowly, the raven walked towards is partner, the red in his eyes seemingly glowing brighter then they had in years. Carefully, he stopped before his partner until a bright but also tearful smile, that never would get to be seen by anyone appeared on his face. Gently, he stepped closer, quickly wrapping his arms around Kisames torso and grabbing his back coats fabric tightly on is back. He buried his face against the others chest, who by now had let out an surprised gasp, to hide his tears.

“Thanks you, Kisame, for everything.”

Before said one could even react. The body before him disappeared into crows gracefully, flying around him until he he was left completely alone.

“Farewell, Itachi”

 

\- - -

“What are you going to do now, Kisame?”  
“I don't know. I think I will just spread my wings and see where fate takes me.”

\- - -

 

Since Itachi had died against his brother moths ago, Kisame felt somewhat lost. Even if he didn't like to admit it, he had cared for the Uchiha and he became something in his life that actually was consistent and made him feel not all so by himself. He grew accustomed to the boy and would even go so far as to call him his only ever friend. Even if he did never learn much about his partner, there was something about the atmosphere between the two that he always liked. The both of them were so different in a lot of ways but they also complemented one another.  
After Itachis death, nothing felt the same. The steady silence now didn't feel calm and wanted anymore, no, it felt forced and lonely, because he knew even if he said something, no one would be there to listen to him.  
And so, there was no one to stop him and hold him back anymore. Itachi always was he one to decide when to fight, and when there was a better option. His rational thinking spared them man fight that Kisame admittedly would have wanted to fight, even if he knew he would have gotten injured in the process. Due to that, his injuries rapidly increased in to the ravens absence.  
The days he spend felt longer and longer, he was growing bored and the daily fights were tiring him out more and more.

Maybe the upcoming end wasn't too bad, he decided, as the sharks he had summoned ripped his scarred flesh apart.  
Itachi-san, it's just like you said.  
Itachi-san, apparently I wasn't an unworthy person after all.

\- - -

“He killed himself so that we wouldn't get any information out of him.”

“Looks like even the members of akatsuki don't want to betray their comrades.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there!  
> It's me, the german kid who is obsessed with english and uses it more often than her own language! I am up with this story about Itachi and Kisame, their relationship and thoughts over the years.
> 
> It took me nearly an entire year to write this, but I finally made it and I am really happy how it turned out. It sure is not perfect but I really put a lot of effort in it and really hope for some feedback on how you liked it. Remember that english still is not my main language and that I am still learning it so there might me mistakes, you can point them out to me aswwell and I will try to fix them!
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading, have a nice time!
> 
> Read you again!  
> -Ichi


End file.
